The Fashionable Food Stain

Johnny Cupcakes Hoody

What are two things everybody loves and uses daily? Food and clothing. Nobody... very few people sit around the dinner table without dinner or without clothes and same goes for most meals. I say most because breakfast is the exception; it's too early for all that effort but i digress. For the past two decades or so a recent phenomena has occurred. People have started displaying their favorite foods on their clothing. No longer is your love for Cap'n Crunch limited to your Instagram or Twitter followers, now everybody can see your love for the mouth cutters on a t-shirt. We are now even seeing full fledged clothing brands centering their look around food and it is awesome. What's the best the best thing since sliced bread? That would be sliced bread of a t-shirt my friend. Now most people would date the birth of food based apparel at around the 1960's but the existence of food-based apparel dates back to the early history of man.

Food-Based Apparel [food-based apparel]
noun

1. Any article of clothing featuring a food item(s) as the central design of the clothing item.

Food Stain [food stain]

noun

1. Any food item that resides on an article of clothing for an extended period of time (this includes condiments, crumbs, and vomit)

The Beginnings

If we want to find the true beginnings of food based apparel then the best place to start is where food and clothing first existed together. This is actually when the Neanderthals were roaming the earth. The Neanderthals are closest relatives of the modern human and through archaeological findings it has been confirmed that they wore clothing. To be more specific they mostly wore leopard furs or other furs from the animals they killed and ironically enough leopard print is in right now.

This is where many fashionistas and hipsters disagree as to the origin of food-based apparel. If Neanderthals wore clothing then it is inevitable that they spilled either food or drink on their clothing. This is an unavoidable phenomena known as the food stain and everybody is afflicted by it. Based on the definition above a piece clothing with a food stain on it qualifies as food based apparel because "a food item(s)" is the "central design." Also, since any type of clothing cleansing device had not been developed yet then those stains were permanent fixtures of their clothing. Those opposed to this theory argue that a food stain does not qualify as a "food item" because stains are inedible and just nasty in general, especially if it's vomit.

Fortunately the "Neanderthal" theory is widely accepted so let's follow this timeline. Now, one would would think that food-based apparel would start to be intentionally made when screen printing was created but that is not true. The silk screen printing process was first seen in China around 221 AD but was not adapted to clothing until the 1960's by Michael Vasilantone.

Early documentation of food-based clothing (1969)

Before the 1960's most people were on that suit and tie stuff (shout out to JT) and wore t-shirts as undershirts but since then the t-shirt, which is the most popular medium for graphics, has become a staple in casual attire. Once the swing in popularity for t-shirts occurred many screen printing businesses started booming over time. Since then the popularization of graphic t-shirts and food-based apparel has taken off.

Modern Day Food-Based Apparel

Today food-based apparel is more than just a Cap'n Crunch logo on a t-shirt; it has become a sustainable business. The most notable company would be Johnny Cupcakes. Started in 2001 Johnny Cupcakes has popularized food-based apparel with his iconic cupcake and crossbones logo and has inspired the launch of many other food-based apparel brands. Much of the success around food-based apparel today revolves around the explosion in self-expression and acceptance. We are starting to see pop culture embrace looks and people who are not the "ideal American" for example the homosexual community or larger individuals. This open-mindedness plus the creative genius of companies such as Johnny Cupcakes has led to the modern day success of food-based apparel. While the origins of food-based apparel are still hotly debated the future for it is looking bright like sunny-side-up eggs.

The explosion of self-expression has also made it possible for anybody to create. Today, if you have an ideas and just a little bit of cash it is possible to get your ideas out there whether it is food, clothing, illegal drugs, tools, etc. So if you have big ideas start them now because you just might be the next pioneer in your industry.

(This piece is satirical, only slightly based in fact, and not meant to be taken seriously for the most part. If you believed all of the information in this article you probably suffer from gullibility and need a reality check. But seriously, follow your dreams.)